I
can't really blame Eileen Tumulty, the main character in Matthew
Thomas's debut novel We Are Not Ourselves. Growing up in the
50's in a blue collar Queens apartment with alcoholic parents whose
marriage is fragile, it's only natural that she is determined to do
better. So when she meets Ed Leary - intelligent, serious,
reliable, a talented scientist - he seems the perfect choice. She
envisions a bright and prosperous future with a home in her version
of Shangri-La – Bronxville. Perhaps she misses some early clues
that his seriousness might be tinged with rigidity, or that his
idealism might conflict with her ambitions. When reality finally
sets in, her desperation to get out of Queens causes her to commit an
act of betrayal.
But
she has little time to enjoy her Bronxville fixer-upper with Ed and
son Connell before she is hit with a stark truth. Her
fifty-two-year-old husband has Alzheimer's disease. As anyone who
has dealt with it knows, the course of this disease is relentless,
and Thomas's description is unsparing (his own father died from it in
2002). Connell stumbles badly in his attempts to face his father's
illness and his mother's need for his help, and Eileen is no saint,
but Thomas makes them sympathetic even in their failings. I have to
admire Eileen's grit and determination in the face of the crushing
obstacles she must tackle.
Thomas
paints on a small canvas – his characters lead ordinary lives in a
circumscribed world (he reminds me of Alice McDermott, who was once
his teacher). But his characters have a resonance beyond their own
small stage, and the title, taken from King Lear, expresses this
well.
We
are not ourselves
When
nature, being oppressed, commands the mind
To
suffer with the body.
